What is meant by influence

Influence is when someone tries to shape your thoughts, feelings, or decisions. Influence is not always bad - it can be positive, like when someone encourages you to work hard. However, it can also be used to persuade you to do something that benefits the other person more than you.

People try to influence others for different reasons, including:

• To persuade you: They may want you to agree with their opinion or support their idea.
• To sell something: A business or salesperson may use influence to encourage you to buy a product.
• To gain power or control: Some people try to influence others to maintain authority or get what they want.

To change your behaviour: This could be positive, like encouraging healthy habits, or negative, like peer pressure.

Why it is important to recognise someone’s influence

It is important to recognise when someone is trying to influence you in conversation so that you can think carefully before making decisions. People may try to persuade you for different reasons—some may have good intentions, while others may be trying to benefit themselves. 

By noticing influence, you can ask questions, consider different viewpoints, and make informed choices. It also helps you to stay confident in your own opinions rather than feeling pressured. Recognising influence allows you to respond thoughtfully rather than reacting too quickly, ensuring that you stay in control of your own decisions and actions.

How to recognise and manage others’ influence

When listening, it’s important to be aware of when someone is trying to influence your thoughts, feelings, or decisions. Here are some key signs to look out for:

1. Strong emotional appeals: If someone is using emotional language or trying to make you feel guilty, excited, or fearful, they may be trying to influence you. For example: “If you really cared about me, you would do this” (Guilt) or  “This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity – don’t miss out!” (Excitement)
2. Repeating key messages: When people repeat the same phrase or idea several times, they are reinforcing their point to make it seem more important or true. This can make you more likely to agree, even if you weren’t convinced at first.
3. Using flattery or personal connections: If someone compliments you a lot or highlights things you have in common, they might be trying to gain your trust to influence your decision. For example, “You’re such a smart person – I know you’ll see that this is the right choice.”
4. Creating a sense of urgency: If someone pressures you to make a quick decision, they may be trying to stop you from thinking too much about it. Phrases like “You must decide now” or “This deal won’t last” are common tactics.
5. Only sharing one perspective: Influencers may leave out key facts or only tell you the side of the story that supports their point. 
6. Claiming to be an expert or authority: Someone may try to influence you by saying an expert or authority figure agrees with them. Be cautious and check if the source is reliable.
7. Peer pressure: Messages like “Everyone else is doing it” or “You don’t want to be left out” are designed to influence you through social pressure.

Recognising these tactics will help you think clearly and make choices based on facts rather than pressure or manipulation.